This weekend we had our extended family together in town for my son’s dedication and naming. It was chaotic and a little crowded and at moments undeniably awkward, since I have a complicated family tree shaped in the usual unusual ways by divorces and remarriages. (e.g., I have one brother, one half sister, and three ex-step sisters. You get the idea.) Anyway - all under one roof makes things nice but also really, pretty weird.
What was not weird was the ceremony.
I absolutely love the Unitarian traditions that welcome babies into the world. Not believing in original sin, the ceremony is about recognizing the wonder of a new baby and welcoming the baby into the care of the congregation. Thing 2 chattered happily through the whole thing — di di da tee tee – except when he squealed with excitement AH! AH! AH! – Everyone laughed. This baby was stoked to participate in the dedication!
When the minister handed him the rose used in the ceremony he was ready to tear it to shreds. So much so that she quipped, “You may eat it now” when she handed it to him. (Hmmm. maybe this is why you usually do it with a NEW baby - not one who has just had his birthday).
In addition, family members and friends bring a small symbolic gift that represents their aspirations for the child. My husband and I gave him a “glass half full” (for obvious symbolic reasons) and filled the glass physically with small slips of paper on which we wrote different things we find wonderful about life. The tiny delights (e.g., singing at the top of your lungs in the car) and the more meaningful (e.g., being truly understood). The rest of the gang brought very thoughtful gifts that we enjoyed hearing about — a globe to represent a love of travel and the ability to appreciate differences, a smiley face for happiness, a book to represent a love of learning, etc.
Thing 1 was part of the ceremony too — conceptually this was a big idea to get across and my first attempt failed. When I asked what she would like him “to grow up and experience or enjoy” she said, “Well, I would not want him to grow up and enjoy coughing on me.” Right. OK. Take 2. “What do you think is most important for him to have to live a good, happy, and meaningful life?” (pregnant pause) “Love.” (smart cookie).
Then, I asked what reminds her of love, something that might be a symbol she could share with him.
“The whole sweet earth.”
So, she painted him a beautiful painting of Earth and was very proud to show it off at church.
The gifts go in a box for us to explore with him when he’s old enough (13? 14? 47?) to understand and appreciate them. Isn’t that cool? I love it — all of it. Living in this time and place where most holidays are tainted somehow by capitalism on the one hand and the weight of social obligation on the other, this stands apart to me as a moment when we really think about what matters and connect in a very significant way. Viva the symbolic gift!
And if my motley crew can connect, that’s just amazing.
radical mama
November 14, 2007 | 11:45 am1
That is such an awesome tradition. Thing 2 is blessed to be so embraced by his community!
Lisa @ Corporate Babysitter
November 14, 2007 | 3:03 pm2
How absolutely wonderful! I love that those gifts will be put away to be opened later.
Not the Mama
November 14, 2007 | 8:57 pm3
How sweet and meaningful. What a great tradition. I absolutely love the symbolic gifts, especially Thing 1’s painting. How special it will be when you share this all with Thing 2.
Academama
November 14, 2007 | 11:22 pm4
This will sound really strange, but now I want to be a Unitarian!! The Methodist Church we belong to accepts babies into the congregation via a Baptism ceremony (like yours, it has nothing to do with original sin). Rather, it’s also a mark of the congregation’s committment to the child. We pledge to collectively raise this child to know God’s love. But….we don’t have gifts!! This is where I sound strange, but I’d love to have given my babies gifts like this!! I think I may invent my own ceremony for this…one that can take place at any age. This is such a great ceremony…I wish you could fast forward and tell us how the kids like the gifts once they’re older
blue milk
November 15, 2007 | 7:11 am5
What a lovely thoughtful ceremony - we had a naming day ceremony too for our daughter and I loved it awfully so, just like you.
mad grad mom
November 15, 2007 | 5:39 pm6
Wow, that is just wonderful. I love that Thing 1 wants Thing 2 not to cough on her. What a wondrful reply. I also love that “the whole sweet earth” reminds her of love. From the mouths of babes, no?
And, I agree with AcadeMama. We’ve been seriously considering the Unitarian church. You may have just completely sold me on it!
mom
November 15, 2007 | 8:45 pm7
MGM and Academama-
Not to be a raging dork or a zealot, but I seriously love being a UU - after years of religion shopping and asking many questions, we landed here and it’s a great fit. If you even think you are interested, I totally encourage you to check it out. Happy to chat more via email if you have Qs. I got involved in a funny way that you may find amusing. My email is (my 3 letter screen name) (at) outside-the-toybox (dot) com
Ringo
November 16, 2007 | 1:46 pm8
Although not particularly a fan of organized religion, I do admire the way the UU church chooses to honor various life celebrations, and this is a great example. There is a reason why throughout time, humans have created rituals to mark important occasions, and honoring your children in this way is such a gift, for you, them, and your entire extended family.
Mom Unplugged
November 16, 2007 | 10:52 pm9
That sounds wonderful! If we had a UU church here I would definitely give it a try. Unfortunately our community is too small. I did not grow up with organized religion and am raising my children that way (in a community where EVERYONE goes to church), but from what I understand about UU, I think it could be quite good for us. That ceremony sounds lovely.