outside the (toy) box

As a general rule, I make a point of not taking Thing 1 with me to the mall or the drug store or such unless I absolutely have to - she’s 4 and very in tuned with the goodies that oogle from the shelves. But, I didn’t realize how long it had been since she went to the grocery store with me (dh and I have gotten in the habit of doing the grocery shopping in a divide and conquer fashion — solo while the other stays with the sleeping kiddos.) At any rate, I took her on a big grocery run recently and it was awful! I felt like it was me against the universe –

I expect to have to run interference in the cereal aisle with those gorgeously gaudy boxes, cartoon charcater mascots, and the pictures of kid bait er, um… toys on the front. And certainly, no parent thinks they can walk down the cookie aisle unscathed, but the marketing to her was everywhere — from the low shelved princess toothpaste to the spiderman mac n cheese. She gravitated to that, plucked it from a bin and said, “Spiderman macaroni?” I said, “Well, it’s regular macaroni and cheese, it just has spiderman on the box to try to get kids to want it. Same exact stuff - isn’t that weird?” She agrees and calls it a “trick.” Cool.  I felt great.  I can teach my smart little friend about advertising and together we’ll be marketing saavy media warriors (image in mind = Mom and dd in silver shiny capes and red superhero tights, chests puffed out, hair blowing in the wind, ready to take down the man).

That was all fine and good — an itty bitty victory of reason over manipulation — until she stumbled upon the Yogos.  Yogos, in case you are unintiated,  are “yogurty covered fruity dots,” as per Kelloggs.  Notice they are not actually yogurt or actually fruit.  Ingredients, in case you’re curious:

SUGAR, COATING (SUGAR, PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED PALM KERNEL AND PALM OIL†, CALCIUM CARBONATE, NONFAT YOGURT POWDER [CULTURED WHEY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, CULTURED SKIM MILK, YOGURT CULTURES; HEAT-TREATED AFTER CULTURING], NONFAT MILK, REDUCED MINERAL WHEY, COLOR ADDED, SOY LECITHIN, NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR, SALT), CORN SYRUP, MODIFIED CORN STARCH, APPLE PUREE CONCENTRATE, CONTAINS TWO PERCENT OR LESS OF WATER, PECTIN, CORNSTARCH, ASCORBIC ACID (VITAMIN C), CITRIC ACID, SODIUM CITRATE, NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR, MALIC ACID, CARNAUBA WAX, COLOR ADDED, YELLOW #5 LAKE, CARMINE COLOR, YELLOW #6 LAKE, YELLOW #6, BLUE #2 LAKE, BLUE #1 LAKE.

So, they are of the ilk that drive me particularly boo-gats not because they are essentially sugar, oil, corn syrup, artificial color, and some fairy dust (also known as CANDY, do they think we’re stupid?), but because the pernicious little boogers masquerade as “healthy” snacks (tip: buy an orange). Grr. I like candy, you like candy, kids like candy. Don’t tell us you’re “yogurty and fruity” to try to trick the overwrought parent sprinting through the store after work - ah.

Anyway, dd pulls the amazingly festive polka dotty box of candy (I’ve got your number, Kellogg’s) off the shelf, gets all dreamy eyed, and says, “What’s this?” (It’s like she’s seeing Jesus), so I tried information warfare (worked once, right?), “It’s junk food that they put in a really fancy box to make you want it, but it’s actually not good for your body at all.” Pregnant pause, child still in trance. I try her language, “They just want to trick us into buying it.” She lights up with hope and excitement, ”Can I buy it!?”

So, I abandoned my supposedly empowering preschool media literacy and reverted to the tried and true, “No.” We made it through the rest of the store, past the Trix yogurt, by the Bratz sticker books (on everyone’s grocery list, right?), beyond the “little hugs” colored sugar drink barrels, and even down the dreaded gauntlet of crap otherwise known as the check out, and I learned a lot. I never realized how many food items are marketed to kids directly in the stores (I tend to think of food marketing as cereal commercials, but rarely the “shelf appeal” lure from the products themselves). I was also reminded that knowledge often fails to trump desire.  Afterall, if all we needed was accurate information, no one would smoke cigarettes or eat french fries, right? (Oh, they aren’t GOOD for us? Why on earth didn’t someone say so?”) And, maybe most importantly, that one of the reasons she doesn’t request junk food is because there is a fair amount she’s never even heard of. I’d love to keep it that way.  Next time I’m forced to take her, I think I’ll head to Trader Joe’s (or invest in a blindfold).