Comments on: I’m Shallow. They’re Ugly. Social Class and Cultural Consumption. http://outside-the-toybox.com/im-shallow-theyre-ugly-social-class-and-cultural-consumption/2007/09/16/ Anyone else find childhood a little stifling these days? Thu, 09 Sep 2010 10:30:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: outside the (toy) box » Smartypants Holiday: Givin’ and Gettin’ or What Would Jesus Buy? http://outside-the-toybox.com/im-shallow-theyre-ugly-social-class-and-cultural-consumption/2007/09/16/#comment-245 outside the (toy) box » Smartypants Holiday: Givin’ and Gettin’ or What Would Jesus Buy? Sun, 18 Nov 2007 20:17:42 +0000 http://outside-the-toybox.com/im-shallow-theyre-ugly-social-class-and-cultural-consumption/2007/09/16/#comment-245 [...] kids give gifts as well as receive them.  For me, Miss I-Don’t-Take-My-Child-Shopping, this can be a challenge.  My birthday was list week, as I mentioned.  So, dh told me he needs [...] [...] kids give gifts as well as receive them.  For me, Miss I-Don’t-Take-My-Child-Shopping, this can be a challenge.  My birthday was list week, as I mentioned.  So, dh told me he needs [...]

]]> By: outside the (toy) box » The Limits of Parental Influence/Capitulation/Score One for Disney http://outside-the-toybox.com/im-shallow-theyre-ugly-social-class-and-cultural-consumption/2007/09/16/#comment-73 outside the (toy) box » The Limits of Parental Influence/Capitulation/Score One for Disney Thu, 11 Oct 2007 01:59:53 +0000 http://outside-the-toybox.com/im-shallow-theyre-ugly-social-class-and-cultural-consumption/2007/09/16/#comment-73 [...] television, and I also work very hard to just keep her out of shopping environments (sometimes with comic outcomes…) even grocery stores.  I have also historically tried to have playdates at parks and [...] [...] television, and I also work very hard to just keep her out of shopping environments (sometimes with comic outcomes…) even grocery stores.  I have also historically tried to have playdates at parks and [...]

]]> By: mom http://outside-the-toybox.com/im-shallow-theyre-ugly-social-class-and-cultural-consumption/2007/09/16/#comment-33 mom Mon, 17 Sep 2007 21:51:15 +0000 http://outside-the-toybox.com/im-shallow-theyre-ugly-social-class-and-cultural-consumption/2007/09/16/#comment-33 <p>Yes yes to both - I know academama is right - that my years are numbered on this tactic. I'll milk it for all it's worth though, I'll even start filling orders and making her part of the process that way before I give in and take her shopping (which I know she'll eventually start asking to do), but eventually I'll need to do that - bring her - so she can feel good, so that the clothes fit well, and so that she can someday function in the real world. But, if this lasts even until she's 6, I will have a child a little more ready for consumer literacy, even if it's met with stooped shoulders (your dd is a clever one!). It's great that you are able to explain to her/discuss with her the self-respect issue. </p> <p>And yes, yes, yes, yes -- tv is huge!! Such a good point NQCP.</p> Yes yes to both - I know academama is right - that my years are numbered on this tactic. I’ll milk it for all it’s worth though, I’ll even start filling orders and making her part of the process that way before I give in and take her shopping (which I know she’ll eventually start asking to do), but eventually I’ll need to do that - bring her - so she can feel good, so that the clothes fit well, and so that she can someday function in the real world. But, if this lasts even until she’s 6, I will have a child a little more ready for consumer literacy, even if it’s met with stooped shoulders (your dd is a clever one!). It’s great that you are able to explain to her/discuss with her the self-respect issue.

And yes, yes, yes, yes — tv is huge!! Such a good point NQCP.

]]> By: Academama http://outside-the-toybox.com/im-shallow-theyre-ugly-social-class-and-cultural-consumption/2007/09/16/#comment-32 Academama Mon, 17 Sep 2007 18:13:38 +0000 http://outside-the-toybox.com/im-shallow-theyre-ugly-social-class-and-cultural-consumption/2007/09/16/#comment-32 Great post! Always smart thinking going on here! Enough so that I'll now have to post my own resonse soon... But, I wanted to briefly mention that, while I too would love to avoid the conflict you discuss, once the kids get older, such avoidance is, well, unavoidable. H stopped wearing - out of hand - things I bought her at least two years ago. If she doesn't like it, she'll simply not wear it. It will hang or lie in her closet untouched forever. So, I've had to develop a shopping strategy that allows her some choice, but comes with limits also. Those limits - for example, no belly shirts, triangle top bathing suits, or Bratz clothing - are specifically linked back to the values our family has decided to follow. So, here's the usual discussion in the store: H: Ooooh Mom, this shirt is soooo cute! I love the pink sparkles! Me: Yeah, that's a cute color, but it's too short. H: No it's not. Let me try it on...I'll show you! (she's even tried to slouch over when trying things on so as not to highlight the too-shortness of the shirt)...Why can't I wear it? Everyone has a belly! Me: Yes, but I only care about your belly, and it's important to our family that we respect our bodies. If we respect our own bodies and protect them by wearing appropriate clothes, then it lets other people know that they should respect our bodies too. (explanation of why it's important for other people to respect our bodies/personal space, etc.). Sorry for being so long :) I simply wanted to say that, at a certain point, conversations like these became inevitable, unless I wanted to just say, "Because I said so." This was my mother's favorite line, but it did nothing to explain how my choices linked to bigger things, consequences, ideas, etc. It merely made me angry and made me more determined to get what I wanted. Obviously, my little "talks" about this stuff with H won't work forever. But for now, it works. Great post! Always smart thinking going on here! Enough so that I’ll now have to post my own resonse soon… But, I wanted to briefly mention that, while I too would love to avoid the conflict you discuss, once the kids get older, such avoidance is, well, unavoidable. H stopped wearing - out of hand - things I bought her at least two years ago. If she doesn’t like it, she’ll simply not wear it. It will hang or lie in her closet untouched forever. So, I’ve had to develop a shopping strategy that allows her some choice, but comes with limits also. Those limits - for example, no belly shirts, triangle top bathing suits, or Bratz clothing - are specifically linked back to the values our family has decided to follow. So, here’s the usual discussion in the store:

H: Ooooh Mom, this shirt is soooo cute! I love the pink sparkles!
Me: Yeah, that’s a cute color, but it’s too short.
H: No it’s not. Let me try it on…I’ll show you! (she’s even tried to slouch over when trying things on so as not to highlight the too-shortness of the shirt)…Why can’t I wear it? Everyone has a belly!
Me: Yes, but I only care about your belly, and it’s important to our family that we respect our bodies. If we respect our own bodies and protect them by wearing appropriate clothes, then it lets other people know that they should respect our bodies too. (explanation of why it’s important for other people to respect our bodies/personal space, etc.).

Sorry for being so long :) I simply wanted to say that, at a certain point, conversations like these became inevitable, unless I wanted to just say, “Because I said so.” This was my mother’s favorite line, but it did nothing to explain how my choices linked to bigger things, consequences, ideas, etc. It merely made me angry and made me more determined to get what I wanted. Obviously, my little “talks” about this stuff with H won’t work forever. But for now, it works.

]]> By: The Not Quite Crunchy Parent http://outside-the-toybox.com/im-shallow-theyre-ugly-social-class-and-cultural-consumption/2007/09/16/#comment-31 The Not Quite Crunchy Parent Mon, 17 Sep 2007 17:19:15 +0000 http://outside-the-toybox.com/im-shallow-theyre-ugly-social-class-and-cultural-consumption/2007/09/16/#comment-31 I just found your blog while visiting Elizabeth at Half Changed World. I love the name of your blog. I too worry and write about the pervasive influence of character marketing. One point I would throw out regarding "social class dimensions of the licensed character divide" is that heavy TV watching is linked to purchase of character merchandise and the lower classes watch much more TV. But good point on the "aspirational" aspect of class...we all tend to emulate “up”. But, that doesn’t always translate into lifestyle changes or into purchase patterns. We buy what we “assume” the upper classes buy. TV is the window into the upper classes for many, if not most of us… so we buy what we guess the upper classes buy, it’s influenced by what we see on TV... not what’s happening in real life. I just found your blog while visiting Elizabeth at Half Changed World. I love the name of your blog.

I too worry and write about the pervasive influence of character marketing.

One point I would throw out regarding “social class dimensions of the licensed character divide” is that heavy TV watching is linked to purchase of character merchandise and the lower classes watch much more TV.

But good point on the “aspirational” aspect of class…we all tend to emulate “up”. But, that doesn’t always translate into lifestyle changes or into purchase patterns. We buy what we “assume” the upper classes buy. TV is the window into the upper classes for many, if not most of us… so we buy what we guess the upper classes buy, it’s influenced by what we see on TV… not what’s happening in real life.

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