I need to close shop. I’ve always said that I think you can balance work and family, but personal interests - forget it. I thought I had time for this, for a hobby, but I don’t. More honestly, I keep making the time and shouldn’t.
Thanks for welcoming a new blogger, I’ve really enjoyed meeting you.
I’m so sad to go, I just have no words.
Meanwhile, if you find her, please let me know. I need some advice.
TDM
December 19, 2007 | 11:22 am1
(dramatically): NOOOOOOOO! We just found you! Could you at least please keep your content up so we can read all the old stuff!
Tina
December 19, 2007 | 11:24 am2
That’s a megabummer for us readers, but we know that you gotta do what you gotta do. I quit my hobby and my blog last year while finishing my book, and I still felt overwhelmed by the work/family combo.
We’ll be here when you’re ready to come back!
Lisa @ Corporate Babysitter
December 19, 2007 | 11:38 am3
No, no, no — we’ve got to work something out here.
Not the Mama
December 19, 2007 | 11:43 am4
Oh no! While I totally understand, I’m so sad. I hope that eventually you’ll be able to balance and post occasionally because the internet needs you!
ScienceWoman
December 19, 2007 | 12:12 pm5
NO!!!!! I just found you. As the mom of a ten month old daughter I was really looking forward to continuing to read your (sane) perspective on parenting. But as a new tenure-track professor, I totally understand about eliminating the unneccessary things from life. Good luck at reducing your stress load!
Krista
December 19, 2007 | 12:35 pm6
Well, I would echo the “We just found you” thoughts, but I understand completely. Leave the blog around, and we will leave it in our readers, and when you get a brilliant idea or rant that just needs to be written, we will be waiting….
maggie
December 19, 2007 | 12:43 pm7
Damn - I too just found you.
Good luck finding Wonder Woman - we’d all like to know where she is.
Sarah
December 19, 2007 | 1:00 pm8
I understand, having recently given up my blog, too. It’s a little sad. Clearly, you will be missed.
Kari
December 19, 2007 | 1:34 pm9
I love how you balance doing your best to live up to your ideals while dealing with the reality of the world we live in. I wouldn’t ever call someone Wonder Woman (way too much pressure), but your real-life friends are lucky! Best of luck getting those wishes on your Santa list.
mbgith
December 19, 2007 | 2:02 pm10
Well, of course I understand if you have to stop. But know that your blog has made a difference for THIS full-time working, consumption-critical mom. One thing you may not notice so much about Wonder Woman is that she’s definitely NOT a one-person show (pun intended). She has a whole team to back her up (including a robotic dog, apparently, which I had totally forgotten about!). So, can I suggest that you adopt the recent approach taken on by the writer who opened my window on your world and share the load? Seems like you have lots of folks with similar interests and a similar lack of time. If the admin is too much, well that’s another story. But maybe there’s another way. Seems like you have a few people here who have wanted to or have recently stopped blogging for the same reason (myself included): no time to do it ALL by herself.
aqua
December 19, 2007 | 3:22 pm11
Oh no! You’re so awesome, you can’t leave us!!
I totally understand, though. I hope you know how much so many of us appreciated your blog.
Academama
December 19, 2007 | 3:36 pm12
Agghhh! You simply can’t go! You’re studying the stuff I don’t, and Lord knows I can’t specialize in everything, so I need to be able to consult the best — and that’s you! Come on…can’t we work out a once a week post?? I know how hard it is (as you’ve probably noticed from my own blog constipation), but what you offer is so valued and important to your new blog groupies. As H usually says, “Can you just think about it? Please?”
dware
December 19, 2007 | 5:05 pm13
Please.
Don’t.
Disappear.
Share the weight, or go to weekly posts, or on hiatus, but don’t vanish altogether, saith this leftist contrarian ex-academic dad of a five-year-old girl.
There are others blogging who share your concerns but few manage to say as much, as clearly, as you.
So, I hope you reconsider bailing on us, and can figure a way to keep blogging while juggling the rest of the plates. My daughter needs you. More than she needs more princess kitsch.
In any event, good luck getting some of those Christmas wishes in hand.
magickitty
December 19, 2007 | 5:11 pm14
Wah. I am kiss of death for blogs. Sorry everyone.
Take care, mom. Good luck with your book.
Forever A Student
December 19, 2007 | 7:43 pm15
I’m really hoping this is some early april fools joke or something…*sigh*
I had you bookmarked and everything!
oh well, good luck to you in all your other endeavors–it was fun while it lasted. And I hope you do continue sharing your writing in some way on the internets–even if it’s a random post once once a month or something. I really enjoyed reading and I second what everyone else has said before me!
Bye mom!
kat
December 19, 2007 | 8:33 pm16
I’m sad to see you go. Like many others, I just discovered you, and was really enjoying, and being educated by, your posts.
I understand why you’re stopping, but will be waiting for your eventual return. please??
Midodok
December 19, 2007 | 9:13 pm17
Bummer! Your blog was always interesting. It opened my eyes to some issues I had never even thought about. Scholastic Books? I would have never thought! I’m now encouraged to look even more critically of the consumer culture around us.
So thanks very much! I guess now I’ll go back and read the older posts. (Maybe you could direct us to your academic writings when they are published in journals?)
mad grad mom
December 19, 2007 | 10:07 pm18
Oh no! And I just discovered you, too! I rarely comment but I soooo love your posts. I know what you mean, though. I can’t say I haven’t thought about closing up shop, too. I often make time for this “hobby” when I could be doing much more productive things like, oh, writing my dissertation or planning lessons.
Thanks for all these insightful, provocative posts. They are appreciated and, like Kat, I’ll await your return (wink wink). You’ll be missed.
Woodmouse Loves Crafts
December 19, 2007 | 10:15 pm19
But…but! I JUST found your blog and it is one of my favorites!
Anyway, I understand if you have to quit. It is tough balancing everything and you have to work on your priorities. Less time worrying/writing about worrying and more quality time enjoying your children? I hear you. Like others said, it really is okay to just blog infrequently, even once a month or so if that sways you at all.
mom
December 19, 2007 | 10:32 pm20
Oh man, I have the coolest readers! Thank you so much for the nice words and support - they made my day. Thanks to those of you who came regularly and left your funny/bossy/sobering comments and thanks also to the lurkers who came out of the closet here to say hello. Loved the comments. Especially the flattery. I should have added flattery to that Santa wish list from last post (btw - I BOUGHT the vivid yellow coat - I don’t need no man - not even Santa. Santa, if you’re reading, I’m just trash talking. I need you! I totally need you!).
I would consider blogging elsewhere or going weekly or adding a bloggy buddy here, if that would solve the problem. Alas, my own posts and the admin are really nothing in terms of time…reading YOUR posts, however, I seem to do for hours on end, when I need to be doing my work. The best part of blogging for me has been the community — and I could never post regularly without reading avidly. Hence the decision. No more posting, and (sigh) quite a bit less reading too…at least for a while.
BUT, it hadn’t really occurred to me before reading your comments that this could me more of a sabbatical than a resgination, and I’m heartened that this is an option.
You’ll be my incentive! Once my book is done, I’ll be back. It’ll be a while, but I’ll be back. Look at Tina, she came back! So, if you have me in your google reader or technorati faves or whatnot, please leave me there and I’ll also email everyone who commented/s on this post (if you left a working email address) when I’m back in the game. What would be the point of coming back if you weren’t here?
I’m thinking August, we’ll see.
Marjorie
December 19, 2007 | 11:31 pm21
Oh, thank goodness for your update. I read this post earlier and couldn’t bear to comment right away–it would have been a pathetic, begging, plea to stay– completely disregarding your own needs and priorities. It would have been a disgusting display of selfishness. You would never leave my blogroll, no matter what. Whether it’s months or years, infrequent or not, we will certainly be here when you decide to post again. And even if you don’t, seriously now, please don’t underestimate the impact of what you’ve already written here. I feel so lucky to have gotten to know you and read you.
Redstar
December 19, 2007 | 11:48 pm22
A Blogabbatical! Enjoy 2008 and GOOD LUCK finishing the book!
bitchphd
December 20, 2007 | 1:27 am23
I tell you what. If you’d rather be a “contributor” than “own” your own blog, you just let me know. I just added two co-bloggers a month or so ago, and I could use a third…..
Jeremy
December 20, 2007 | 2:36 am24
I feel a bit like when I’ve discovered a fantastic band and then go madly off into the web to learn about them…only to learn that they just broke up and toured through my town two months earlier. Aaargh.
But yes, I’ll echo what others have said — there’s no need to go cold turkey forever with blogs — just back way off on the reading and throw something up here when you feel like it…even once a month or whatever. Would be sad to see you go after just catching on.
Mom'smom
December 20, 2007 | 9:53 am25
My amazing daughter, by your readers comments it is so obvious how well you write-channel these same skills into your book and you will succeed. I’m so proud of you!
Amy
December 20, 2007 | 10:22 am26
I have a big case of selfish sadness. Reading your blog entries always inspires me - to push forward in the quest for noncommercialism, to turn over another rock, to enjoy all the millions of little happy things in life too. And you are just plain fun to read! We all love your writing, as your mom points out - you are very good at reaching people with your writing.
Whatever you decide, I hope we (personally) keep in touch and I hope we (collectively) hear more from you when you are ready.
Until then, the very best thoughts…
Amy
radical mama
December 20, 2007 | 10:41 am27
What? WHAT? Wow. Serious bummer.
jessica elgin
December 20, 2007 | 10:41 am28
oh no! of course you have to do what’s best, but maybe you could set limits on yourself? make this a “weekends only” endeavor?
GonnaBaMamma
December 20, 2007 | 11:09 am29
I’ve really enjoyed reading your blog and wish you much success with your book!
MamaMo
December 20, 2007 | 11:16 am30
definitely keep your content up as a resource for those of us who are new and haven’t had a chance to read it all yet. Good luck with the book.
Must be Motherhood
December 20, 2007 | 11:18 am31
Yes, yes! Finish the book as an incentive to get back to posting here!
I understand the procrastination/being spread to thin problem. We obviously love you here, but sometimes making the tough decision to focus on less fun priorities is the best decision.
That said, I look forward to reading you after your sabbatical!
dware
December 20, 2007 | 12:21 pm32
Your update qualifies as a Christmas present.
I’ve got a publication deadline of August, too–so I understand the motivation. Finish the book and know we’re pulling for you.
and good for you re the yellow coat.
A. Berkoski
December 20, 2007 | 2:10 pm33
Aw, I’ll miss reading your posts, but if you keep this site, I’ll check back occasionally! I wish I knew where to look for your book. If you’re comfortable, let me know once you’re published, I’d love to read anything that you’ve written!
The Secret Ingredient
December 20, 2007 | 3:12 pm34
Although I’m not in academe as are many of your readers, it has been SO NICE to read all your insightful posts, comments, reader’s comments, etc….. working with food all the time I sometimes forget all the other issues—IMPORTANT ISSUES—-that are out there. Thanks for keeping me in the loop about everything—and we can still share princess hatred privately.
You’ve done a truly outstanding job with this—–something a fellow blogger can aspire to!
m
December 21, 2007 | 12:05 pm35
I have really appreciated your work here. Good for you, deciding to do what you need to to make better progress on other work. Your posts here are so thoughtful, and the events and actions you describe clearly reveal that you are really effective and capable - someone who CAN finish that book project.
Good wishes!
-fellow project-laden asst. prof mom
Jacey
December 21, 2007 | 3:39 pm36
Dear Outside the Toybox Prof/Mom/Writer Etc. and her fabulous community,
I have only recently been following the blog and I am interested very much in doing some collaboration of some sort. My friend and I were just reviewing the site and came across the “bad news.” She has a 10 month old daughter and was thrilled to find you! Please feel free to contact me via email.
THANKS!!
blue milk
December 21, 2007 | 6:22 pm37
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I love your blog so so so much. Take a break over the Christmas period and consider posting irregularly here or somewhere else… like blue milk maybe? Hint, hint.
FeministGal
December 21, 2007 | 7:26 pm38
I’m glad you decided to not leave for good, i just recently found you and really enjoy reading. I love your perspective on parenting and it’s an extremely important one to have out there!
I hope you do take bitchphd’s offer because i love both your blogs very much and read regularly
Judith
December 21, 2007 | 8:34 pm39
Adding a redundant voice of sadness that we’re losing you (at least for the time being). I really enjoy reading your posts. Sometimes (sometimes? basically always) it feels like trying to raise healthy, feminist kids is a “me against the world kind of project,” so it was encouraging and comforting to hear the voices on this blog. You’ll be missed. Good luck on the book, and please revive the blog some day!
Jacey
December 22, 2007 | 9:14 pm40
Hi, it’s Jacey. You can find what little I have divulged (so far) of me at my “new” blogspot. My site thus far is nothing like this one, but I have high hopes. Please stop by and leave your feedback, ideas and input for the PROJECT!
Tracee Sioux
December 22, 2007 | 11:06 pm41
I hope you’ll come visit me anyway. Man, you’re a woman who learned to say NO. Or at least not right now. . . . just like all the advice columns tell us.
Shaping Youth
December 30, 2007 | 3:44 pm42
I’m in total denial here, so haven’t weighed in. Holding boundaries is my weak spot, so it’s with adoration and awe that I see you’ve chosen not to be a Gumby doll tugged relentlessly in multiple directions…wow. Inspiring.
My own daughter and I just returned from a B&B gal pal getaway where the gift was TIME…no blogging, no computer turned on, full focus…(so you know why my own posting on Shaping Youth has lagged!) Fully ‘present in the present’…as a present. (hard when you’re a start-up nonprofit about to launch a big ol’ venture!)
This all points to a bigger picture life/work issue I wrote in a piece called “motherhood in the millenium,” warning folks that the work-family balance is just as fouled up as it ever was…Anyone w/a warped vision of being able to ‘multitask’ w/a newborn cradled in your arms and a headset talking on the phone to allow the voice to soothe her, while breastfeeding and working part-time out of the home to keep the workload at bay quickly realizes that’s all a crock. Much less being present w/active toddlers and a full slate of responsibilities in the academic mom mode… Sooooooooooooooo….
I’ll heartily hope that ‘mom’ takes her professorial sabbatical/writer’s block breaks visiting the blogs of her avid readers regularly so we don’t all lose touch…your expressions are a gift to us all.
The sense of community you’ve created among us goes far beyond a ‘hobby’ and will remain with you as a ’support group’ and stalwart fan club as you move forward with your life goals.
Remember, your readers are still here…we’re just a keystroke away, cheering you on!
Hugs and hopes for a productive 2008…we’re with you all the way!
TinaH
January 4, 2008 | 1:02 pm43
Ooo, ooo, I just saw this and BitchPhD’s offer of an occasional place to post. She’s righteous and that would be a good match!
Good luck and thanks.
The Not Quite Crunchy Parent
January 8, 2008 | 10:20 am44
Hey don’t go…I still owe you a princess post…
I am really sorry to lose reading your blog on a regular basis. Your insightful posts have really opened up a lot of good discussion.
How about some guest blogging…the Not Quite Crunchy parent would love to have you post from time to time…drop me an e-mail
Mom Unplugged
January 16, 2008 | 12:12 am45
I am SO behind the times! I understand why you are doing this, because I have thought about it from time to time too. Who knew that this could be so CONSUMING?? It’s not just writing, but reading and commenting, and being friends, which is really nice but can take a huge chunk out of real life.
I will miss your blog, even though I have not been the best visitor (my real life gets in the way of all that too). I did however leave you my “real,” non-public email address that should function until the day I die (and beyond?). So PLEASE let me know when you are back online and good luck with your book.
We’ll miss you!
candace
January 16, 2008 | 8:22 pm46
i miss you. and the blog you rode off on! come back!
dware
January 17, 2008 | 2:34 pm47
the fact that a nuimber of us keep checking back here should be some indication of how you are missed; get the book done and don’t be a stranger, yes?
Stewgad
January 25, 2008 | 5:21 pm48
I too am behind the times. I opt to write a blog but not read others when I’m overwhelmed, so I totally understand. (Hence my late comment!) Clearly a lot of people will miss your blog while you’re gone, though. We’ll have a huge happy blogfest when you get back!
Drop me an email - I still have a gift to send you from my meme in October and it sounds like you could use one!
Mommy B
February 28, 2008 | 2:48 pm49
The story of my life. I’ve arrived too late. So sad.
Well maybe by the time I’ve made my way through all of your wonderful content you will have returned from “sabbatical”.
**fingers crossed*
dware
December 23, 2008 | 11:41 am50
A happy christmas to you–hope you can re-emerge.
Crooked Timber » » Can we stop with the pink and the bows already?
December 25, 2007 | 1:14 pm51
[...] after I found the great blog outside the (toy) box its author decided that she couldn’t maintain it, not right now anyway. I completely understand her decision, but it’s still a [...]