Comments on: Internalized Gender Norms or “But I LOVE Barbie” http://outside-the-toybox.com/gender-rules/2007/07/30/ Anyone else find childhood a little stifling these days? Thu, 04 Dec 2008 22:55:00 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: jayda http://outside-the-toybox.com/gender-rules/2007/07/30/#comment-649 jayda Mon, 21 Apr 2008 19:46:59 +0000 http://outside-the-toybox.com/2007/07/30/gender-rules/#comment-649 i love you kylin is yo still my frind yes or noit was just kenya i love you kylin is yo still my frind yes or noit was just kenya

]]> By: C'tina http://outside-the-toybox.com/gender-rules/2007/07/30/#comment-637 C'tina Wed, 09 Apr 2008 19:09:32 +0000 http://outside-the-toybox.com/2007/07/30/gender-rules/#comment-637 Your blog is interesting to me...I spend most of my time telling my kids not to run with pencils, or sticks...or to be careful with that mini maul (wood splitter). I believe most characteristics, inborn or not run on a continuum. Your blog is interesting to me…I spend most of my time telling my kids not to run with pencils, or sticks…or to be careful with that mini maul (wood splitter). I believe most characteristics, inborn or not run on a continuum.

]]> By: mom http://outside-the-toybox.com/gender-rules/2007/07/30/#comment-303 mom Tue, 27 Nov 2007 20:29:39 +0000 http://outside-the-toybox.com/2007/07/30/gender-rules/#comment-303 Ah - Karen, great question. Once Thing 1 said, "you know Ann - the one who looks like a boy but isn't?" Great barette tale. I know at preschool, one day there was a little boy with a teeny pont tail on top of his head and I was totally fascinated. The next day another boy had one too. I think very early on kids are quite open -- until we close the doors for them. Like my brother in law insisting his son take off a princess play dress. Ah - Karen, great question. Once Thing 1 said, “you know Ann - the one who looks like a boy but isn’t?”

Great barette tale.

I know at preschool, one day there was a little boy with a teeny pont tail on top of his head and I was totally fascinated. The next day another boy had one too. I think very early on kids are quite open — until we close the doors for them. Like my brother in law insisting his son take off a princess play dress.

]]> By: Karen http://outside-the-toybox.com/gender-rules/2007/07/30/#comment-299 Karen Tue, 27 Nov 2007 15:40:14 +0000 http://outside-the-toybox.com/2007/07/30/gender-rules/#comment-299 I've put barrettes in my 3-year-old son's hair. He usually asks me to take them out again in a few minutes. One of his (male) classmates has come to day care with barrettes and no one criticized him. The teachers and other parents cooed over it in a way that was different from how they react to a girl with barrettes, but if he got the impression that there was something unusual in his wearing barrettes, well, that is a correct impression. If he wants to wear barrettes when he is older, certainly the fact that it is unusual will be part of the attraction. Unless he turns out to be transgender, in which case hair jewelry might be one of the more easily negotiated issues. To get back to the post, does Thing 1 know your little sister's friend Ann (mentioned in a later post--I came here from Bitch, Ph. D. and am now starting on the archives)? How does she react to girls and women who are not like her school friends and cousins? I’ve put barrettes in my 3-year-old son’s hair. He usually asks me to take them out again in a few minutes. One of his (male) classmates has come to day care with barrettes and no one criticized him. The teachers and other parents cooed over it in a way that was different from how they react to a girl with barrettes, but if he got the impression that there was something unusual in his wearing barrettes, well, that is a correct impression. If he wants to wear barrettes when he is older, certainly the fact that it is unusual will be part of the attraction. Unless he turns out to be transgender, in which case hair jewelry might be one of the more easily negotiated issues.

To get back to the post, does Thing 1 know your little sister’s friend Ann (mentioned in a later post–I came here from Bitch, Ph. D. and am now starting on the archives)? How does she react to girls and women who are not like her school friends and cousins?

]]> By: Anonymous http://outside-the-toybox.com/gender-rules/2007/07/30/#comment-5 Anonymous Wed, 08 Aug 2007 01:26:55 +0000 http://outside-the-toybox.com/2007/07/30/gender-rules/#comment-5 <p>Hi,</p> <p>Very interesting and smart. </p><p>KH</p> Hi,

Very interesting and smart.

KH

]]> By: Elise http://outside-the-toybox.com/gender-rules/2007/07/30/#comment-3 Elise Tue, 07 Aug 2007 18:15:54 +0000 http://outside-the-toybox.com/2007/07/30/gender-rules/#comment-3 To answer your last question - at least 1. Yes, my 3 year old son is among the anomalies who defies the laws of gender stereotypes. Not only does he proudly announce pink to be his favorite color, but he also asked me recently if he could paint his toenails "bright pink". Now I consider myself a feminist, and I did paint his toenails, BUT I couldn't help but steer him towards what I believed to be more masculine colors, offering up silver or purple. I shamefully admit that I also dodged his repeated requests to wear a barrette. Don't get me wrong... the *only* issue I have with him wearing a barrette with bright pink toenails is the way he will be received by others. If I could expose him only to the world of people like me, I would have no issue at all. It is the father who chastised our childcare providers when he picked up his son one day to find him playing in a pink frilly dress whom I fear will harm the confidence of my child. That man is one of too many. Every parent knows that when your child is teased, it is you who feels the pain even more than (s)he. It was a risk I didn't want to take. But I recognize that in denying my son of his wishes to do traditionally "girl" things, I am contributing to the culture that I despise. In this scenario, how does one reconcile her liberal morals with her desire to protect her son from ignorance? To answer your last question - at least 1. Yes, my 3 year old son is among the anomalies who defies the laws of gender stereotypes. Not only does he proudly announce pink to be his favorite color, but he also asked me recently if he could paint his toenails “bright pink”. Now I consider myself a feminist, and I did paint his toenails, BUT I couldn’t help but steer him towards what I believed to be more masculine colors, offering up silver or purple. I shamefully admit that I also dodged his repeated requests to wear a barrette. Don’t get me wrong… the *only* issue I have with him wearing a barrette with bright pink toenails is the way he will be received by others. If I could expose him only to the world of people like me, I would have no issue at all. It is the father who chastised our childcare providers when he picked up his son one day to find him playing in a pink frilly dress whom I fear will harm the confidence of my child. That man is one of too many. Every parent knows that when your child is teased, it is you who feels the pain even more than (s)he. It was a risk I didn’t want to take. But I recognize that in denying my son of his wishes to do traditionally “girl” things, I am contributing to the culture that I despise. In this scenario, how does one reconcile her liberal morals with her desire to protect her son from ignorance?

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