outside the (toy) box

Okey doke. I had been thinking about how infrequently I mention Thing 2 on this blog and how you probably all think I am a neglectful, uncaring mother incapable of loving her baby.  So, I was going to post a little memo about how much I adore him (I do, I do, I do - it’s SICK how much I love that baby) and all his adorable quirks (he has a intense hair fetish and likes to pull my eyelashes while we snuggle), and how I am actually very focused on him for a number of reasons (e.g., not the least of which is that he has “THE peanut allergy”) that just aren’t relevant to this blog. 

I felt a need to tell you that he is not neglected, not some afterthought, not hiding in Thing 1’s shadow, but I could be kidding myself, seeing as how last night I let him eat dog food. 

We were all standing in the kitchen hanging out, when I looked over and saw him, butt in the air, face down in the bowl.  I launched over, but too late — he was already chipmunk cheeked (and happy about it — he thinks it tastes goood). So I grabbed him by the waist and I am holding him over the sink, prying out piece after piece - it was amazing how many he had crammed in there. I’m laughing, and dry heaving (gagging is one of my areas of expertise), and semi-anxiously looking at DH who is focused intently on reading the ingredients on the bag of pedigree (did you know that some dog biscuits are made of peanuts?), and Thing 1 is standing there getting all upset, “Mom! Stop laughing! It could have peanuts! I have serious concerns!”  And all I can do is picture us with the paramedics, being asked, “And do you have any idea what triggered the anaphylaxis?” 

But…no peanuts, no egg (he’s also allergic to egg).  The only fall out seemed to be dog breath (seriously), and my own recognition that maybe this isn’t the best time to explain how vigilant and caring I am (but I am, I am!).  

On another matter, you may recall that I contacted the FCC to urge them to heed the congressional report/concerns related to product placement in children’s advertising.  I wrote a long, academic-like letter (my other tone of voice — I’m like Cybil) about my concerns and backed them up with the requisite scientific evidence.  It took them a month to reply and guess what they sent?  A copy of the current FCC policy on educational programming.  wtf?  First of all - the policy sucks, and the last thing I want to do is be reminded of how inadequate it is.  Second of all, I teach that document, and my letter conveyed that I had some level of expertise in the area. 

Did I ask, “Hey smart government agency - what is your policy on educational programming?” No.  I sent a letter supporting the conclusions of a congressional committee that says existing programming is loaded with in-text ads that are inappropriate for young children.  They didn’t even acknowledge my concern or reference the report.

I always thought there were dolls propped up to look like civil servants at the desks over there — turns out I was right.  What a joke.

Lastly, to do a little administrivia - if you were one of the lucky winners of the gift - please send your mailing address to: mom ~at symbol~ outside-the-toybox ~dot~ com

I won’t be mailing gifties until December, but I want to have my ducks in a row.